I saw The Interview on You Tube yesterday and have to say it was a comic masterpiece, not the movie but the drama surrounding the hacking of Sony and subsequent threat by the hackers. They could make a good comedy about the events. I don't know. Maybe we could get Trey Parker and Matt Stone to do a sequel to Team America, World Police, except make it live action except for one character. (you know which one)
We have some interesting players.
Sony: the giant entertainment company. We know that the theater operators were the real wimps, but Sony got left holding the bag. Sure, we had some shootings at theaters before, but the whole thing sounded like they were terrified that people would find out some employees were discussing Obama's movie preferences. Hey, I am sure there is weird stuff like that in any large company's computers. So what? Big deal. What would have been really funny is if it had been Norton or Kapersky that got hacked. Bad guys, you have no sense of comic irony.
Guardians of Peace: This is not a sequel to Guardians of the Galaxy (just FYI) SNL's "Dr Evil" was right. We already have an evil organization called the GOP. First of all, if you are going to get upset over something as silly as a movie, you really shouldn't expect anyone to take you seriously. The Religious Right is sort of nutzy about some movies too.
The really stupid move was thinking they can tell an entire country what they can and cannot watch. If they had done nothing The Interview would have faded into obscurity with similar movies. Dudes, because of you, theaters showing the movie have been sold out and people who had no intent to see the movie before thought it was their patriotic duty to go see it. I don't think that is what you wanted.
In the US, it is our First Amendment right to make fun of anything and everything. We will make fun of our President, a former President, your President, anyone's President,the Pope or whatever. You cannot stop us making fun of stuff. The more you tell someone they cannot do something, the more they will try to do it. That's human nature. Even God had problems telling some people they couldn't do something He said not to do.
President Obama : I will give Obama credit giving Sony a little push, but I don't know what this "proportional response" thing is. Obama needs to be able to at least understand the language of the terrorists, insanity. If your adversary can figure you out, they have the advantage. Obviously you don't want to provoke them, but if they think you or say a significant portion of the NRA is thoroughly pissed off by what they did they might be less inclined think they could win.
Kim Jong Un: I don't know anything about this dude. The character in this movie sort of seems like he misses his puppy. I don't know. Since evil villains in the movies tend to prefer kitties I would avoid that option. I do think he needs a hobby, one that doesn't involve being a supreme ruler.
North Koren Hackers : Ok , we do not know who was responsible for shutting down North Korea's internet. If this was retaliation to the Sony hack I can only say one thing. LAME!. Do you really think taking out Kim Jong Un's Facebook for a couple of days is going to matter?
There you have it Hollywood. The perfect idea for a REAL comedy. I am thinking Paramount should bring back the Zucker Brothers and/or Pat Proft for this. Of course we should also have Leslie Neilson as Lt. Frank Drebin
Friday, December 26, 2014
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Anaraphla's Movie Mayhem: Interstellar
Interstellar
First off, this is not Interstella, which of course would have been a movie about Stella Mudd, a character from an Original Startrek episode. Don’t worry, not only is J J Abrams not that crazy, neither is our old nemesis’s Berman and Braga. At least I don’t think so.
It is also not a remake of Field of Dreams or a certain Twilight Zone episode, even though it starts out in a cornfield. It does, however, seem that we have sent the Earth and everyone on it to the cornfield, figuratively speaking. (Checking IMDB…Nope, Al Gore is not in this.)
Matthew McConaughey, plays Cooper an ex astronaut. You will probably remember him as Palmer Joss in the movie Contact. His job in that movie was to say profound things when the movie called for it. Here, he plays a farmer who is about as comfortable farming as I would be as a Politician.
He has a daughter named Murph, She was a genius of sorts. She ran for Class president under the banner “Murph--Not just a good Idea, it’s the Law”. Of course her and her brother were expelled for not believing the moon landing was a fake and global warming was a hoax. Its bad enough the Earth is dying from some unexplained plague. The real disaster is that Texas Republicans have taken over the nation’s educational system.
There is something strange in the neighborhood. Books fall off of shelves, strange patterns appear, and watches appear to be receiving messages from nowhere. No monsters in the refrigerator or marshmallow monsters though. No one thought about calling the Ghostbusters.
Cooper and Murph find their way to an underground NASA base. Yes I know this makes no sense. (Its like the Amish have taken over the government, which suggests that our national anthem is now Weird Al’s “Amish Paradise”). The exterior shot of the NASA base looks something like the outside entrance to Stargate Command. (not a bad idea as sending humanity through the stargate would solve the problem)
Anyway, these NASA guys have a plan to save humanity. It involves a wormhole that somehow just appeared at the right time and leads to possible worlds that humanity could start over on. If they only had an astronaut and a genius to help with things. How convenient.
This movie is also a plug for Dylan Thomas. In case you didn’t know who said, “Do not go gentle into that good night”, you will after watching this movie. The line is repeated almost as much as “With great power comes great responsibility” is in the original Spiderman movie. Of course Stan Lee is not in this movie however.
Now the movie shifts to the actual voyage to save humanity. We meet 2 robots that are unlike any movie robots. They look like the monolith from 2001. They do not come with Asimov’s Three Laws, but they do have adjustable humor and honesty controls. Turning up the humor controls too high may subject you to random wedgies and puns that only robots understand.
Michael Caine plays the NASA guy and keeper of the Dylan Thomas poem. You may remember him as Mr. Destiny from the movie of the same name. He spends the whole movie trying to figure out some gravity thing. If the answer was blowing in the wind that would be one thing but its inside a black hole. Is this a backhand way of saying this movie sucks? Well no, but I thought I would take the gag before anyone else does.
In space near Titan, Cooper docks with this ring thing near the wormhole. Maybe it is there to catch space worms but its used to go through the wormhole. Ok there are two planets sort of close to a black hole. As we learned on an episode of Stargate SG1, the black hole messes with time. Cooper wants to go down to Ice Planet Hoth but Mr Destiny’s daughter (That would be Destiny's child..sorry) wants to go to the other planet. Only thing is nobody is down there. Its all water and you can’t land without land to land on. Landing there would actually be watering. They get out of there before a giant wave threatens to “wave” them goodbye.
Back in space everyone is older. Mr. Destiny is really old and Murph is middle aged. The audience got older too. Our next trip is down to Hoth where we meet Matt Damon. Cooper tries to borrow parts for his robot but Damon’s mentis is quite non compos by now and he not only tries to kill Cooper and steal the ship, but his acting is quite lousy. He gets killed trying to break into the ring thing.
Ok, we’ve run out of places to go and this last trip is really going to suck, literally. Not only does the robot have to go into the black hole to find out about the gravity thing, Cooper has to somehow go back in time and give his daughter the information. To quote Bill and Ted, “Only the winners get to go back in time and set things up”. To use the proper technical jargon, this is more likely to be a bogus journey than an excellent adventure, but yes, Cooper is most triumphant. He not only sets up the books and the messages to Murph, he winds up in the future safe with the rest of humanity he has saved. The audience is of course 3 hours older and desperate for a bathroom break.
First off, this is not Interstella, which of course would have been a movie about Stella Mudd, a character from an Original Startrek episode. Don’t worry, not only is J J Abrams not that crazy, neither is our old nemesis’s Berman and Braga. At least I don’t think so.
It is also not a remake of Field of Dreams or a certain Twilight Zone episode, even though it starts out in a cornfield. It does, however, seem that we have sent the Earth and everyone on it to the cornfield, figuratively speaking. (Checking IMDB…Nope, Al Gore is not in this.)
Matthew McConaughey, plays Cooper an ex astronaut. You will probably remember him as Palmer Joss in the movie Contact. His job in that movie was to say profound things when the movie called for it. Here, he plays a farmer who is about as comfortable farming as I would be as a Politician.
He has a daughter named Murph, She was a genius of sorts. She ran for Class president under the banner “Murph--Not just a good Idea, it’s the Law”. Of course her and her brother were expelled for not believing the moon landing was a fake and global warming was a hoax. Its bad enough the Earth is dying from some unexplained plague. The real disaster is that Texas Republicans have taken over the nation’s educational system.
There is something strange in the neighborhood. Books fall off of shelves, strange patterns appear, and watches appear to be receiving messages from nowhere. No monsters in the refrigerator or marshmallow monsters though. No one thought about calling the Ghostbusters.
Cooper and Murph find their way to an underground NASA base. Yes I know this makes no sense. (Its like the Amish have taken over the government, which suggests that our national anthem is now Weird Al’s “Amish Paradise”). The exterior shot of the NASA base looks something like the outside entrance to Stargate Command. (not a bad idea as sending humanity through the stargate would solve the problem)
Anyway, these NASA guys have a plan to save humanity. It involves a wormhole that somehow just appeared at the right time and leads to possible worlds that humanity could start over on. If they only had an astronaut and a genius to help with things. How convenient.
This movie is also a plug for Dylan Thomas. In case you didn’t know who said, “Do not go gentle into that good night”, you will after watching this movie. The line is repeated almost as much as “With great power comes great responsibility” is in the original Spiderman movie. Of course Stan Lee is not in this movie however.
Now the movie shifts to the actual voyage to save humanity. We meet 2 robots that are unlike any movie robots. They look like the monolith from 2001. They do not come with Asimov’s Three Laws, but they do have adjustable humor and honesty controls. Turning up the humor controls too high may subject you to random wedgies and puns that only robots understand.
Michael Caine plays the NASA guy and keeper of the Dylan Thomas poem. You may remember him as Mr. Destiny from the movie of the same name. He spends the whole movie trying to figure out some gravity thing. If the answer was blowing in the wind that would be one thing but its inside a black hole. Is this a backhand way of saying this movie sucks? Well no, but I thought I would take the gag before anyone else does.
In space near Titan, Cooper docks with this ring thing near the wormhole. Maybe it is there to catch space worms but its used to go through the wormhole. Ok there are two planets sort of close to a black hole. As we learned on an episode of Stargate SG1, the black hole messes with time. Cooper wants to go down to Ice Planet Hoth but Mr Destiny’s daughter (That would be Destiny's child..sorry) wants to go to the other planet. Only thing is nobody is down there. Its all water and you can’t land without land to land on. Landing there would actually be watering. They get out of there before a giant wave threatens to “wave” them goodbye.
Back in space everyone is older. Mr. Destiny is really old and Murph is middle aged. The audience got older too. Our next trip is down to Hoth where we meet Matt Damon. Cooper tries to borrow parts for his robot but Damon’s mentis is quite non compos by now and he not only tries to kill Cooper and steal the ship, but his acting is quite lousy. He gets killed trying to break into the ring thing.
Ok, we’ve run out of places to go and this last trip is really going to suck, literally. Not only does the robot have to go into the black hole to find out about the gravity thing, Cooper has to somehow go back in time and give his daughter the information. To quote Bill and Ted, “Only the winners get to go back in time and set things up”. To use the proper technical jargon, this is more likely to be a bogus journey than an excellent adventure, but yes, Cooper is most triumphant. He not only sets up the books and the messages to Murph, he winds up in the future safe with the rest of humanity he has saved. The audience is of course 3 hours older and desperate for a bathroom break.
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