Anaraphala's Movie Mayhem Thor Ragnarok

Anaraphla’s Movie Mayhem: Thor Ragnarok.

    Ok kiddies I have to make a little disclaimer here. Ragnarok isn’t a Jim Henson production. Thats Fraggle Rock, something totally different, although you might actually use the same theme  music by changing the words. Lets see, “Give your life away, living for another day, let destruction play, down at Ragnarok” Ok its better with the music.

    When the movie starts, Thor is talking about where he is going, and what he is doing in this handbasket. Its true. Thor is fighting this fire monster who wants to start Ragnarok. (No, Ragnarok is not the opening act for Led Zeppelin) Thor defeats the monster and takes its horn back to Asgard, where the only thing that can bring back the monster just happens to be. Clearly this should be a violation of the Asgard hazmat safety code, but it isn’t.

    Meanwhile Odin, Thor’s dad is watching a play dedicated to Loki, Thor’s brother. Thor may be powerful, but he has a somewhat poor taste in women and he is the only sentient being in the universe who didn’t  realize from the end of the previous movie that Loki is not dead and has disguised himself as Odin.

    Thor and Loki have to go look for Odin. Along the way they receive a Strange message. Of course, this movie needed a Benedict Cumberbatch cameo. Strange told the pair that Odin was in Norway and opened a portal for them, allowing Thor and Loki to bypass the *%#@# TSA checkpoint.

    Odin wanted to do a Luke Skywalker pose, so we find him standing next to a cliff. Was he just standing there, waiting for Thor and Loki to show up like Luke was obviously just waiting for Rae? Odin tells them a bunch of stuff they will need to remember to move the plot along later. Then Odin lays one Hella surprise on them. You have a sister. She is hella wicked, hella powerful,and not bad looking actually, but the antlers would be too much for most people. (This probably wasn’t as much of a shock as Mr. Spock had when he found out he had an evil sister named Michael)

    Hella breaks Thor’s hammer. You just cannot get one at Home Depot you know.(You can imagine what would happen if they had a hammer like this on Home Improvement) Hella goes back to Asgard and uses her powers to take over everything. Heimdal tries to save the innocent civilians.

    This dude named Skurge joins Hella and pulls out these guns he bought in Texas. No doubt they were for hunting and self-defense. You never know when you are going to need military grade weapons to defend your home from a squirrel attack.  No waiting or background check. Just show your NRA card.
   
          Thor and Loki take a wrong turn at Albuquerque and wind up on a trashy planet full of overused script memes. They meet this hot woman who is an Asguardian who now works for the Grandmaster (played by Jeff Goldblum) when she isn’t drinking. I would really hate to wind up paying her bar tab.

    Thor is forced to fight the Hulk. Thor almost wins but Goldblum  paralyzes Thor with scenes from his old movies. Eventually, Thor, Loki, Hulk, and the woman head back to Asguard. They have to go through something called the Devil’s Anus. It is not as bad as it sounds. I can think of worse places to go through. I can’t mention them however.

    The big fight begins and Odin tells Thor he doesn’t need the hammer. Thor lets out a big blast of lightening at Hella. It doesn’t work. The memory of Odin, obviously embarrassed that Thor couldn’t do the job tells him they don’t need Asgard. Odin’s memory is obviously 0 for 2 in the advice department, Fortunately, Thor remembers the plot element sitting in the dungeon and revives the monster

    Everyone watches from the space ship while Asgard and hopefully Hella is being destroyed. The movie ends with an alien channeling Chris Elliot  from Groundhog Day.

“Uh it could be ok. We could rebuild it”
CRASH BOOM
“No, probably not now”